Anicca

08/01/2012

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Several years ago I went to a Vipassana meditation retreat.  It was 12 days of silence.  12 days of eating barely two meals (vegetarian) a day, avoiding eye contact with my fellow meditators and doing nothing but living with the thoughts in my head and noticing life as it was passing me by.  Throughout this incredibly long 12 days - longer than any other 12 days I have experienced - I went through an incredible range of emotions.   Sometimes I would find myself in complete despair, and others incredibly happy for no reason at all.... well no there usually was a reason - it was watching the leaves of a trembling aspen quaking in the wind, it was really tasting food for the first time in my life.  It was feeling energy inside me, and it was being so stuck in my own head, that in order to get out, I found myself dancing to a tuneless song in my head - a little break, a little salsa dancing in the bathroom.  I felt like I was going crazy, but I also felt like I was waking up to some real truths of life. 

There is one principle, one teaching of Buddhism that has stayed with long after I stopped being a vegetarian (6months) and my meditation routine lapsed... and that is anicca - the nature of things to always be in a state of impermanence (now there is an oxymoron!).   This too shall pass - seasons change, bad moods pass, good moods do to, relationships end, new ones begin, life goes on - even if it feels like it won't, even if you fear what the future holds - tomorrow and every day after that will still be here, and it is your choice how you greet them.  

Today I am sad - a part of my life is over, and I am grieving.  Every aspect of my life is in a process of changing, and I am feeling as if the only thing I can do is hold on and enjoy the ride.  
 


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